Nature's
great, but we can do better! For countless millennia, man lived purely
off the land. He hunted, he gathered, he reaped the incredible bounty
of this glorious planet we call home. He also lived to be thirty-five.
The good people at Allied Chemical decided enough was enough. They created chemicals that inject unheard-of levels of goodness and yummy into every can, jar and squeezy-bottle of Farmer Fred's Happydale Ham SpreadTM . You'd have to consume eighteen servings of fruitsand vegetables, twenty-six loaves of bread, thirty-two glasses of milk, and an entire pig to match the chemically-enhanced nutritional goodness of just one serving of any of the Farmer Fred's Happydale Ham Spread TM product line! What a glorious time to be alive! |
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Heck, why bother with the cracker? Just slice off a piece of Farmer Fred's Happydale Ham Spread LoafTM , and you've got twice the goodness, twice the taste, and, we think, twice the fun! |
So remember, at home,
work, or play, morning, noon, or night -- the choice is simple, the choice is clear. It's Farmer Fred's Happydale Ham Spread product line for a great life and a better tomorrow! |