F.A.Q.
Q: So who's Farmer Fred anyway? Is he a real person like Betty Crocker? or Colonel Sanders -- that is before he died and became a cartoon -- is Farmer Fred real like that?

Farmer Fred is part Betty Crocker and part Colonel Sanders. He's also part Norwegian, so he keeps to himself. Ha ha... no really, Framer Fred is Rear Admiral Frederick R. Grumby. A brilliant military tactician, gentleman farmer and a whiz at the old Bar-B-Que grill. he developed the secret spices now used in the Farmer Fred's Happydale Hamspread product line during the Franco-American war. He has used them at personal hamspread feasts for 6 different presidents. Today "Farmer Fred" is rarely seen in public or photographed. He almost never makes any type of statement to the public, yet his presence can be felt throughout the Happydale U.S.A. Compound.
Q: Is it true that "Farmer Fred" is a Co-founder of the Dianetics movement?

No that is simply rumor and innuendo, stemming mostly from a misinformed documentary of "Farmer Fred" by the A&E television series "Biography"
Q: Where is Allied Chemical located?

Allied Chemical has plants all over the globe. but here's the easiest method of contact.
World Headquarters
Allied Chemical
2217 Nicollet Avenue South,
Minneapolis, MN 55404
voice - US (612) 874-2400
fax - US (612) 874-2430
email us: hamspread@alliedchemical.com 
For more info check out the Contact page
Q: What does Allied Chemical produce?

In addition to our work with the military, Allied Chemical produces the Farmer Fred's Happydale Ham Spread Product Line, Blobster -- the Lobster Substitute in a Can, McHealthy's Topical Ointment, and Allied Chemical Brand All-Purpose Spray. We also own and operate the highly successful restaurant chain Foody McFood's Good Time Foodery.
Q: So what does Allied Chemical produce for the military exactly?
Most of our Military Operations are under a variety of Top Secret clearances. However PX's and military canteens across the world have access to the same great Allied Chemical products that you do in your local grocery store.
Q: What exactly is in Farmer Fred's Happydale Ham Spread?

We're sensitive to the right of consumers to find out what's contained in their foodstuffs, but by the same token, what about the very large section of the buying public that doesn't care? Don't they have a right to be spared the abject boredom of poring over long lists of additives and flavor enhancers? Let's just say it's a combination of secret herbs, spices, and pinch of hamtastic magic!
Q: How can I explore employment opportunities with Allied Chemical?
Allied Chemical only takes in less than 1% of qualified applicants, scouted by corporate recruiters all over this fine globe of ours, searching out applicants who adhere to our strict standards, political doctrines, and genealogical requirements. Perhaps the best answer is Don't call us, we'll call you.
Q: My retailer doesn't stock any Allied Chemical products. and I need some of that Pig-Cante Ham Spread! How can I make this happen?
We at Allied Chemical, believe most retailers are good and noble people who can clearly see the need for ham spread, lobster substitute and all-purpose sprays in their customers' lives. Unfortunately there still remain those "one-percenters" who still refuse to get on board. If, after you've politely asked your local merchant to carry Allied Chemical products, they still refuse, we suggest a letter-writing campaign or failing that a petition.we also recomend boycotting those establishments and encouraging your friends and relatives to do the same.
Q: What's with this Music Division?
We here at Allied Chemical are very forward-thinking, we realize the "the future is now". Over the next few years increased dependence on technology due to the growing need for comunication,demand for information, and of course, global warming. We will all be required to take a long hard look at the way we do things in his hazy crazy world. That includes the way we receive music. Using the internet as means of procurement, allows the consumer control over all aspects of what they listen to, and how they listen to it. They decide the format, they decide the sequence and the spacing. What an amazing time to be alive.