Standard Disclaimer

Warning, this will give away the joke!!!
We hope to God you've figured it out by now.

If you haven't, be aware that Allied Chemical, as we've presented it here, does not exist. Other than the music section (which actually does offer quality sound files featuring wonderful artists) the products offered on this site are jokes. Your dream of a grilled Farmer Fred's Happydale Hamspread sandwich prepared using All-Purpose Spray with a cold Blobster salad on the side cannot be realized. Joe McCarthy never condemned us (as a matter of fact, he died two years prior to the date we indicate in the History section). Alex Ray is not coming to your town on his book-signing tour. Get over it.

And for those of you smarty-pants out there thinking to yourselves "who could possibly be taken in by this?" -- people have been taken in. We've got the resumes and requests for sulfur hexaflouride to prove it. Apparently, a pig wearing a fez is not as unlikely a corporate mascot as we first thought.

It should go without saying (but unfortunately still may be necessary to say) that we are in no way associated with any other company, large or small, past or present, named Allied Chemical.

Finally, here's a little information about us:

Chris Strouth (creative director/co-creator) a conceptual theorist, the director and founder of Future Perfect. He is the Chief and sole employee of UltraModern, a company based on furthering of new music. currently he is the head of artist and product for TRG Records (Twin Tone Record Group). He was a producer/writer/ and host of the experimental TV program "What". As a writer he has done a weekly column on music and youth culture for America On-line as well as a column on electronic music for Pulse. as well as co-authoring two play As an artist he has designed album covers for Marlee MacLeod, Funkytown (soundtrack) Stan Ridgway, the University of Minnesota, and the American Composers Forum. as well as doing all the Future Perfect design Dr. Strouth has curated programs at the Walker Art Center, the Frederick R. Weisman Museum of Art
Matt Fugate (senior editor/co-creator) is a comedian, writer and actor. Matt has performed at non-famous comedy clubs in Minneapolis and quite a few even-less-famous comedy clubs on the road. He's also appeared on various non-famous television shows. Finally, he's co-written and acted in several non-famous stage plays and sketch reviews. Much of this work has been done in collaboration with Chris Strouth. Feel free to try and figure out which -- it's fun! Matt lives and works in Minneapolis with his fiancee, son and cats. Matt is perfectly comfortable with the notion of becoming famous. Wealthy too.
Dwyane Williams (drawings/pictures) has taken many pictures, including the ones on this page. He's also drawn many drawings, including all the pictures of "Hammy".
Keri Halverson (video) is a self taught video monster. proving that good things can come from cable access. A long time collaborator of Chris Strouth. Keri was the resident video person for Red Eye's Uneasy Listening Music Series, and has done video for Future Perfect and Richard for Cerebellum.
Finally, a HUGE thank you to Mr. Paul Stark, (Landlord), who helps make all of this wackiness possible.